


I'm blue (dabadee dabadaa)

by jaxonkreide



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Eventual Loki/Tony Stark, I'm Bad At Tagging, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), M/M, Not Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Sakaar (Marvel), Time Travel, Tony Doesn't Make It Back Through The Portal, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Worldbuilding, and I couldn't ask my usual tagging help, as in Loki doesn't appear for like 20k, excessive use of the color blue, in a way i guess, you know sakaar worldbuilding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-10-01 00:10:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20455853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaxonkreide/pseuds/jaxonkreide
Summary: Tony delivered the nuke through the portal, but he doesn't return home.Caught in the middle of the closing portal, Tony finds himself hurtling through space and blue and maybe time.Who knows on what godforsaken planet he ended up?You, because you can read the tags lol





	I'm blue (dabadee dabadaa)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rabentochter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rabentochter/gifts).

> *continues to viciously pretend I'm good at keeping secrets* 
> 
> Sesil!! Who'd have guessed!!! I got picked to be your secret summer santa! Surprise, surprise!!
> 
> I kept pretending throughout the whole time that you don't know and I think I at least played that part.... kinda well for the longest time. I hope. 
> 
> uhh, so yeah. Sesils original prompt was along the lines of "Tony doesn't make it through the portal, ends up on sakaar and is stuck there until Loki comes during the events of ragnarok" and well. I don't know how I ended up where I am, but Tony's alone time ended up to be very long, only that he's not really alone and I suck at writing the Grandmaster? Yeah, still hope you enjoy it lol  
  
<s>I swear this is the one and only time I'm gonna post an unfinished fic, I kinda underestimated how big this one would become oops. I struggle with long fics rip</s>
> 
> So buckle up guys. There's gonna be a lot of blue in this. Which I'm sure you'll realize is the reason for that title XD

An unfathomable amount of darkness. Black as far as his eyes could see. It almost seemed normal, black as the night sky far out into the wilderness.

And yet, the stars were shining brightly. A difference unrecognizable to the bare eye, especially when one was not studied in the constellations seen from Earth.

Jarvis could tell though, no star seen from Earth seemed to be visible here. They were different, far away, unknown. To humans at least.

That’s the perspective Tony viewed this endless space from, a single human. Oh, so small in the bigger machinations of the universe. Barely have they explored space and the longer Tony saw aliens flying from the portal above his tower, the more did he become aware of one fact. Earth was not  _ prepared. _

This strange unknown sky on the other side of the portal alone wouldn’t have been that bad, Tony felt indescribable itch to explore thinking of all the planets they have never seen. What other life would be out there, it couldn’t be all bad, could it?

How did their spaceships work? Were there blueprints that Tony could study out there? Start building his own, making them better than anyone else could ever do.

The concept of all these things in Outer Space was alluring, but nothing Tony could think about right now while being under attack from Loki and the Chitauri. It also didn’t paint a good picture for the rest of space that the first aliens to have open contact with Earth - in  _ ever _ \- were aggressive and tried taking over their planet.

It was actually quite scary and Tony could already feel his brain working in the background during all this fighting. How would he develop Earth quickly? If one army of aliens came, how many more could find them? Tony knew he had to do something to protect Earth. 

For now, thankfully, the Avengers seemed to be up to the task of protecting this precious planet. Even though one of them shared the alien origins the leader of their attackers had.

Tony couldn’t yet judge that particular member of their team… or all of them for that matter. Besides maybe lying ‘Tasha and his new crazy scientist buddy Bruce. 

He’d known Natasha for a while now, even if it was under a different name. That actually showed him a bunch of things about her as well. Bruce, on the other hand, he’d only just met, but Tony could already tell that they would have a great connection. Crazy scientist to another crazy scientist as it was. And the Hulk? Tony adored him and proceeded to express this in the battle.

Barton, he couldn’t judge. He hadn’t even met the guy outside of the suit after he got out of Loki’s control. Though he seemed fun enough so far. Definitely not on Tony’s level though. But he saw himself getting along second best after Bruce with Barton. Tony even had a few ideas on how to improve the man’s bow in his mind. He felt like he had to look out for the only other member without any kind of super strength in this team.

Lastly, there was Steve Rogers. Captain America. Yeah, Tony already couldn’t stand the guy. At least he seemed decent in a fight.

All of that wasn’t the matter right now though, what was important right now was the nuke sitting on his shoulder, waiting to be guided through the portal.

And that brought him back to the subject of space. 

You see, while space was as black as could be and the stars as unknown as the rest of deep space was to humans, the area behind the portal was filled with the Chitauri’s ship. And Tony was on a mission to destroy both the ship and all the whales still on the way to the portal.

Natasha was keeping the portal open for him, at least he could trust her in doing that, she was trained in fighting and he needn’t worry her stabbing him in his back during a fight.

That’s when Jarvis asked him if he wanted to call Pepper and “W-what? No! I- Pepper…” Tony trailed off. Calling Pepper right now would not be a good idea, he didn’t want to worry her like that just after what happened and besides, wasn’t she in the plane right now? As he knew her, her phone would be turned off.

And besides, there was no reason to call Pepper, he’d just go through a portal to another side of space for a few seconds and then pop back to their side.

“Rhodey. Call Rhodey.” Tony found himself saying, it was unnecessary and Rhodey was probably busy too, he was on a mission on the opposite side of the world right now after all, but he could try.

Rhodey picked up after the first ring. Tony still on his way to the portal.

“Tony?! Tony, are you ok? I heard about what’s happening to New York. Man, I’m seriously sorry that I can’t come to help, but this mission is just as important as protecting New York, you know I’d come to help you in a heartbeat otherwise, right?” Rhodey sounded worried and was also whispering. Ah, he probably shouldn’t have picked up right now, but he had still done it.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Tony reassured Rhodey. “Just wanted to call to tell you that I’m just about done here when you’re done with your mission you should come back home for a while Rhodey. It’s seriously boring without you.”

At that moment Tony collided with his tower lightly, the nuke hard to navigate.

“Tony, what’s going on on your end, are you sure that you’re alright?” Rhodes sounded worried, maybe slightly panicked too.

Tony flew through the portal.

Now, flying through a tiny portal with a nuke wasn’t as easy as one might think - for a second Tony even wished that Loki had found a way to make the portal bigger, but that it was probably a blessing it wasn’t that big. Tony could imagine the huge mothership just appearing above Earth, huge, menacing and decidedly deadly. That alone made Tony pale for the death he could imagine clearly now.

Hopefully, the nuke would be enough.

Tony laughed to hide his own worried state. “I told you I’m fine! I’d never lie to you, sugarplum!”

The cold of space was too much - the suit’s systems were slowly starting to fail, but he had to lead the nuke for just a bit longer, aim it right, be sure it hits where it’s supposed to hit...

He heard Rhodes snort. “Dude, you need to learn when to be serious and when not to.”

Rolling his eyes, Tony let the fake smirk fall. “Ok, I’ll be serious, just this once. You don’t have to worry about me. You know me, no matter what happens I always find a way back home.”

Rhodey’s voice crackled, was the connection behind the portal bad or was it the fault of his suit, shutting down around him, cold easing through the metal and attacking Tony’s skin.

“Tony, what’s going-” And communication cut off.

Tony let go of the mission, slightly correcting his own path backward, so he’d drift back to the portal. He needed to get out of here before the bomb exploded and the radiation reached him and the portal. 

But.

But he couldn’t move. His suit had shut down completely, his many HUDs inside the suit darkened. The only light came from in front of him, through the small eye slots inside his suit. 

The starry space darkened by the Chitauri looming in front of it. So much black, had the nuke missed?

And then, there it was. Bright yellow, turning to orange, blooming right in the middle of the ship, quickly expanding.

How far was he away from the portal? What was Natasha doing? Had she already closed the portal behind him? Left him for dead alone out here? Was she waiting for him? Could she close it quickly enough before the explosion reached the portal after Tony went through?

He promised Rhodey that he’d make it back home.

The explosion was beautiful. Tony saw it eating up the Chitauri’s whole ship, filling it with heat and death.

Ah, being out of space and back into the warm sun on Earth would be fantastic. How long had Tony been falling for? How long had he watched the explosion in front of him? It almost seemed like time didn’t exist if he hadn’t been able to see the ever-growing orange in front of him. 

Blue started invading the edges of his vision. Wasn’t that supposed to be black? Tony couldn’t bother anymore, passing out, his vision surrounded by bright blue.

It was like a blue light was surrounding him.

Blue.

Blue light just like the Tesseract.

The light, it seems to follow him into the unconscious, an unconsciousness far from normal. 

Everything was blue.

Yet. The space still existed. 

The explosion growing, growing. It didn’t reach Tony, he knows with certainty.

And yet, he can feel it. Can feel the power resonate in his entire being.

Feeling his body shudder and scream, convulsing in pain, Tony tries to move, tries to scream. He doesn’t have a body that hurts.

Tony feels Death. She’s reaching her hands out for him, trying to pull him close.

No, he refuses. He doesn’t want her. Let him go. He can’t die, he’d promised to go back home.

He has to live, he has to fight. He can’t just die like this, pathetically drifting through space.

In a moment of clarity, Tony realized that he wasn’t in space anymore. But this also wasn’t Earth. He didn’t make it through the portal.

In the next moment, Tony couldn’t feel his body anymore. Or was it always like this? No, he was- was he still unconscious? 

He has to be, right?

Everywhere he looks. It’s all still blue. Blue, blue, blue…

And then Tony feels the Tesseract glowing brightly directly behind his eyelids, he’s blinded, it’s too bright, it hurts,  _ it hurts! _

But he can’t feel a thing.

It hurts, but the pain doesn’t exist. 

He doesn’t exist, he feels himself fading…  _ fading... _

Tony wakes up with a scream.

It’s still blue, everything is blue. The Tesseract is everywhere. 

Did Tony not make it to the portal in time and was thrown into some kind of rift between space?

He doesn’t know.

Where’s up? Down? Left, right? Tony can’t tell.

Everything seems to blur away in the blue around him. Wasn’t he in space just a few seconds before? Or has it been hours, days?

Time and space, they both didn’t exist and yet their existence felt oppressive.

Tony started walking, running, searching.

How can he leave  _ here _ ?

_ Where _ is here?

Where is  ** _he_ ** ?

He began to understand why everyone seemed to hate the bluescreen blue. Everything was an endless blue that wouldn’t stop. He didn’t know where it began, where it ended. Was he even moving?

He wants it to stop.

He wants other colors back into his life. Why was this happening?

That’s when he suddenly saw a spot of color, far away. He started running towards it. Closer, closer.

And then he stood behind Cap and Thor. They were both watching the Chitauri fall to the ground, obviously dead. Tony speaks up, no voice left his throat. He wasn’t even breathing.

Tony looked down and saw that he’s blue like the Tesseract, his suit was gone, just his jeans and shirt left.

He tried touching Cap, but his hand went straight through him. 

Maybe he died after all and now turned into a ghost.

Cap and Thor were looking up now and Tony does too. The portal was still open. Was he still falling? Was this just an unconscious hallucination?

Cap told Natasha to close the portal.

It closed. 

Tony doesn’t fall through.

He is surrounded by blue again.

The spot of color seemed to be closer now and Tony started chasing it again. 

The next moment, he found himself next to Barton. He was watching the portal in the sky too. It was Closing again. Tony was nowhere to be seen.

The blue consumed him once again and he gave chase to the color. 

What else was he supposed to do? It was his only way out. At least, that’s what Tony hoped it was.

The Hulk roared as he saw the portal close, jumping up on buildings, closer, as if waiting for someone to come out of the portal. It closed without Tony again.

Blue, color, he was next to Natasha and Selvig.

He watched her hesitate, look up into the sky, unsure. Tony could see the explosion from here, Natasha could too.

Could Natasha see the tiny spark of red and yellow glinting in front of the orange? See it grow bigger?

Cap gave Natasha the command to close the portal and she hesitated for one more second, before her head whipped down, pushing Loki’s scepter fully into the portal machine.

The portal was closing and Natasha hastily looked back up.

By now, no one could miss Tony hurtling down, just a bit faster. Just the tiniest bit. He can still make it through the closing portal.

Tony looked to Natasha, saw her eyes transfixed on the portal, blue reflecting in her eyes. Her lips were moving as if saying a silent prayer. Her eyes begging. 

Tony looked back up. 

His suit was swallowed up by the portal, neatly in-between space and Earth.

Was he to slow? Or was Natasha the fraction of a second to fast?

Tony couldn’t tell, everything was blue.

He saw Pepper, watching a news report during her flight. She watched him fly into the portal. She watched him not coming back.

Rhodey. Rhodey kept trying to dial Tony’s number on his phone. He was cursing under his breath.

The next visions he saw were weird.

All the Avengers, his friends. But they were young. Basically children.

Natasha in a room full of other girls, she was forced to kill.

Clint smiling at a girl and shyly taking her hand.

Bruce sitting in a tiny room, studying at the desk.

Pepper was just outside, having fun in the sun.

Rhodey with his family. The family that had taken Tony as their own during his time at MIT. Rhodey’s mother looked younger than Tony had ever seen. Still the beauty he knew now.

He almost didn’t recognize Cap without the serum. But there he was. Small and beaten up.

Then another flash of Cap. Tall and strong. The serum really had worked wonders. Red Skull was touching the Tesseract, it consumed him and he disappeared.

Is this what was happening to Tony? He hadn’t touched the Tesseract directly! But he did get the inside view of one of its portals.

And then Tony saw Thor. Young and short. He wondered when Thor picked up all those muscles.

But Thor wasn’t alone, Loki was with him, just as small. He looked innocent. Maybe even cute.

Loki’s head snapped up and he stared straight at Tony, did he see Tony? No one else had, no this was a mistake, someone had to have been behind him. But Tony couldn’t look away, Loki looked him directly in the eyes.

The young boy opened his mouth. “Who-?”

The scene faded and the blue came crashing back down.

Tony tried to move, tried to see the light. He couldn’t move, he’s falling.

The blue is everywhere. It’s overwhelming. Growing stronger and stronger.

Tony sees color below him, he’s falling towards it at an impossible speed.

Faster, faster, ever faster.

Tony had started to believe it impossible, but his vision grew black.

And he passed out.

Unconsciousness welcoming him like a warm embrace.

Everything was quiet, he could rest.

A heavily damaged red and gold armor crashed into a planet where lost things appeared, to be found and brought back home.

The armor was one thing among many that fell that day, but immediately people surrounded it. Unique as it was, it was only obvious that it would draw a crowd immediately.

A few figures approached closer than the rest and heaved the armor up onto their spaceship, returning to the colorful capital of this planet.

They had caught something big today.

**Author's Note:**

> people that followed on the FI discord as I made the outline of this surely remember that I accidentally wrote my thoughts of the beginning down in german and while it's totally awkward, I still think it deserves a place here! So here's the thing for you other germans out there XD
> 
> Das blaue Leuchten des Tesseracts verfolgt Tony in seine Ohnmacht. Er kann es immer noch sehen, das Universum. Undenflich vor ihm. Er weiß, dass die Explosion ihn nicht erreicht hat, er weiß es. Aber dennoch, fühlt er sie durch seinen ganzen Körper resonieren. Fühlt seinen Körper erschaudern, schreien. Er fühlt den Tod. Sie versucht ihn einzufangen, aber Tony weigert sich. Lass ihn gehen. Er muss weiterleben, weiter kämpfen. Er kann nicht einfach so sterben.  
Tony verliert das Gefühl in seinem Körper, ist er wirklich noch ohnmächtig? Er muss es sein... Alles ist noch blau. Der Tesseract, er leuchted direkt hinter Tony's Augenliedern. Es schmerzt und doch... fühlt er nichts.  
Tony wacht mit einem Schrei auf.  
Das Blau ist immer noch da, es ist überall und Tony weiß nicht wo er ist. Oben? Unten? Rechts, links? Alles verschwimmt im Blau das ihn umrundet. Er fängt an zu laufen, zu suchen. Wie kommt er hier weg? Wo ist er? Wo ist **er?**
> 
> and that's it for today! Don't yet know how I'll update this sorryy <s>probably every three days?</s> real life is kinda busy right now rip


End file.
